Have you ever made a careless error at work?  Then berated yourself for the error with “How stupid.” Dropped a container of blueberries sending them scattering across the kitchen floor?  Immediately chastising yourself by saying “You are so stupid”! Been passed over for a job promotion and said to yourself, I knew I wouldn’t get it.  I just don’t have what it takes to succeed”?

We humans persistently talk to ourselves..and we have been receiving information from others through our environment and our experiences since the beginning of life.  And where is that information recorded?  In our brain.  The human brain does not decipher truth or intent.  It takes what it is given.  If the brain receives a message often enough, it  believes it to be truth.  These “truths”, perceptions, interpretations, judgments, beliefs then determine how we view ourselves, our world, and others in it.  They become our core beliefs.  Accurate or not, we believe them to be truth.

Our discontent is the result of hanging on to negative beliefs…sabotaging confidence in self and others, disrupting harmony in relationships, and producing harmful (negative) energy.  With enough frequency, negative thoughts and statements (whether you say them to yourself or they come from history and experiences) leave you feeling upset, angry, sad, etc.   This leads to feelings and behaviors that, too, are negative or unsatisfying.  The problem is – most of us are not aware that we harbor negative beliefs.  We tell  ourselves “if I believe this so strongly and I think it all the time, it must be true.”  It’s time to challenge these thoughts, because

THOUGHTS……DETERMINE FEELINGS…..DETERMINE BEHAVIOR

This, simply put, defines the cognitive/behavioral approach to change.  But….how does one do this?

To re-program the brain to think differently, such thoughts and statements must be replaced with positive, calm or rational thoughts.  Negative thoughts cannot be wished …or willed away.  Saying “I just won’t think about it” doesn’t work  either.

Again, the brain believes what it is consistently taught!!!!!  Your feelings and behaviors respond to the beliefs, or commands, of your brain just as your muscles respond to the brain’s message.  This is true in all cases where the brain and body are healthy; e.g. undamaged neurologically or biologically.

Start to develop your own list of positive affirmations.

How do you want to feel about yourself (your “ideal“ self).   It is important to state your affirmations in the here-and-now; e.g. “I am confident”, “I respect others”, “I am lovable.”  It is imperative to avoid negative words (“I am not” or “I will not” or “Never” – the brain does not recognize “Not”).  Now. Write Them Down.  You don’t necessarily have to believe them yet.  Let your brain do its work.  Remember, many of us have a lot of repair work to do from years of negative input.

Place your affirmations in conspicuous places and repeat them as many times a day as possible.  The four transitional periods of the day are most important: 1.on waking, 2.leaving for work/school/activites,3. returning home, 4.at bedtime.